My whole life I have been in control of my body. I used to have a six pack, muscular arms and fat no where to be found. Until a year ago I had never seen a cellulite on my body. Was I happier back then…? No!
The pressure of upholding that ”perfect” body took so much energy out of me. Having a toned and strong body was part of my identity back then. I thought that was all that I was; an insecure girl with a fit body.
Most of you might have read my previous post about orthorexia so I’m not going to repeat myself and tell you that story all over again but I still want to raise this important subject once again.
Media and social media focuses so much on ”ideal bodies”, the latest fitness trends, the newest diets and it upsets me how many young girls believing that having a skinny/toned body is ”THE ideal”. Young women who have eating disorders… Young women posting images of themselves wearing underwear; tucking their bellies in.
I have spent the majority of my life working out on a [more than] regular basis; never resting, avoiding unhealthy food, looking myself in the mirror and no matter how toned I was; not liking my body. I have always loved food but I could never really enjoy it because all I could think of was how long it would take for me to burn the calories that I had just eaten.
Until my body, a few years back, ”broke” trying to tell me to stop pushing it, I never really knew what ”rest” was… What enjoying life and food was.. I know I’m not alone having been on this journey and if I; by sharing this post; can affect one person then it’s more than worth it.
I now stand in front of the mirror, looking at a feminine and curvy body (with a few cellulites here and there). A beautiful body that I am, for the first time in my life; learning to fully love and appreciate. A few hours ago I swam in the ocean, enjoyed the rain while swimming. On my way back home through the forest, I stopped for a minute, closed my eyes, felt the rain pouring over my face while listening to the birds singing. These are moments now that I so genuinely enjoy. More than I have ever enjoyed one single hour at the gym…
I love being a woman with all that there is to it and never again will I feel guilty not working out or guilty enjoying a delicious meal. Life is meant to be enjoyed and I sure will! So tonight I will enjoy a glass of red wine, a delicious meal cooked by my love and the company of my loved ones surrounding me.